counter-surfing

This morning I was thinking about all the variety of foods that humans have available to them, and then thought of how paltry the “dog food” aisle is in most grocery or pet stores.  I mean, humans don’t have to eat the same thing every day (though some of the obsessed or neurotic amongst them DO, but that’s a choice), so why should a dog?! 

Our palates are just as sophisticated as humans.  Putting aside the fact that we sniff other dogs’ butts, and sometimes eat random things off the sidewalk, we are gourmets with complex palates.  We are omnivores.  We are meant to eat everything!!  Why do you think some of my less couth brethren occasionally eat excrement?  It’s purely out of boredom and frustration with our otherwise bland diet.

So this morning, when I finally emerged from a restful slumber and ambled down the stairs to the kitchen, I saw various family members eating breakfast.  Daniel and Bailey were eating waffles.  Jordyn was eating rice crispies.  I sniffed the fragrant air.  I love waffles!  I love rice crispies!  Yet, did I have a place at the table like the others? Did anyone ask me what I wanted for breakfast?  No.  It’s just assumed that because I’m a dog, I eat dog food out of a bowl that rarely gets washed.  Come on, people!!!  It’s just so wrong.  How can you eat a variety of foods in front of us and expect us to ignore it?!

For me, I’ve mastered the art of manipulation and have been able to get my way often enough that dog food is merely a “supplement” to my diet.  I’ll let you in on my secret.  I first rest my head on someone’s knee; then I make chomping noises with my mouth to let them know that it’s not affection I’m seeking, but rather, it’s food.  Finally, I sit up on my hind legs and bark.  Works like a charm every time.

Ahhh….snap, crackle, pop…..how I love thee!!